Then using God’s bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, ‘You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, ‘Yes!’ And Woman said, ‘I’ll have one too with chocolate chips’. And so they gained 10 pounds.
And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.
So God said, ‘Try my fresh green salad’. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said ‘I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them’.
And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man’s cholesterol went through the roof.
Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.
Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.
Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said ‘You want fries with that?’ and Man replied, ‘Yes, and super size ‘em’.
And Satan said, ‘It is good.’ And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed ……… and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
And then ……….. Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.
Related ads Thoughts-God’s creations
On April 30, 1975, Saigon, the largest city in Vietnam and the capital of South Vietnam, was captured by the National Liberation Front and the People’s Army of Vietnam. The event marked the end of the Vietnam War (1955-1975) and the reunification of Vietnam under communist rule. The city lost its status as the country’s […]
A multitude of rulers is not a good thing. Let there be one ruler, one king. -Herodotus
"I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God’s hands, that I still possess" – Martin Luther
“I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God’s hands, that I still possess” – Martin Luther
Wir binden uns ans Gesetz, um frei zu sein.
Acquiring a cat as an adult increases the risk of developing allergies to cat dander, particularly when it is allowed into one’s bedroom. More than 6,000 European adults who were not sensitized to cat dander were surveyed and had blood drawn on two occasions over a nine-year-period. About five percent of those who acquired a […]